Kids deal with death much better than we think they do. They are very inquisitive and ask many questions. This is normal and should be encouraged as they struggle with the issues of learning about death. Sometimes, children teach us lessons as well . . .

One night we had a very large visitation for a man who had died leaving six children, seventeen grandchildren and six great grandchildren, most of whom attended the visitation. The main hallway was very crowded and a line had formed. The kids negotiated the crowd easily darting between legs here and there. I was having a much more difficult time getting through the crowded room. I was attempting to make my way to the register stand to check to make sure that we didn't need to add any more prayer cards when suddenly a bright young face stood looking up at me. She smiled and said "You're the lady that opens the door for people." I smiled back amused and said "yes I am" as she had watched me opening the front door that evening and greeting people as they arrived certainly this seemed to be a logical conclusion for a 6-year-old. But she surprised me then by asking "Why is my Pa Pa in that bed?" . She turned and pointed a small chubby index finger in the direction of the casket. As you may have experienced, small voices have a way of carrying, even in a large crowd. People stopped talking around us and listened to see what I would say.

I have several years of experience working with children. I have a Master=s Degree and life long experience dealing with death I felt fairly confident in my ability to help this poor little girl understand and deal with the death of her "Pa Pa". I told her in a kind warm voice, "That's what we call a casket and we put people in them when they have died like your Pa Pa." She looked at me rather confoundedly and said "What do you mean he died?" I knelt next to her. Her bright blue eyes held mine, "Death is what happens when our bodies stop working- when we die we can't talk, or feel, or walk or do any of the things we can do when we are alive. Your Pa Pa died because he got very sick and his body couldn't work any more." I looked at her face and I knew she wasn't getting what I was saying- the pressure was on- I searched for something she could understand and then the light bulb went on- I told her, "It's like when you have a toy that needs batteries to run but when the batteries working the toy can't run any more." She beamed at me at this point and I thought "A ha! I'm a genius!" I beamed at her and she beamed at me and said, "Pa Pa should have used the rechargeable batteries."

It's always good to be humbled by a six year old.

All writings are copyrighted and should not be duplicated without express written consent of the author.

rfh@robinsonfuneralhomeinc.com

Site Designed & Hosted by MidOhio.Net